One of my close friends, A, is getting married in a few days. Another really close friend F is tying the knot on the following day.
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I'd gone to college with both of them, with A during my masters degree, and with F during my bachelors. Both times, we were part of a close-knit gang of friends, pulling through adversity together, supporting each other, and enjoying each others company. I'm still in touch with all of them (thank god for the internet!). From among my friends group from my bachelors, a gang of four girls (discreetly mentioned here!), two are married, and the third will be in a few days! It is unbelievable how time flies and circumstances change. I'm genuinely happy for these friends who have found good partners for themselves. Two more girls, crossing the threshold, becoming ladies with added responsibilities to their own, discovering a new, different way of life, entering a whole new epoch. Weddings are fun, and also extremely stressful and hectic. I'm usually one who worms her way out of such hassle, but if it is a friend's wedding, I wouldn't miss it if I had the choice. I've been invited to both these upcoming weddings, but sadly won't be able to attend as I'm in a different country.
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All my wedded friends, and myself, are under the age of 25. It makes me feel...a little left out, to be honest. Not because I’m not married, but because everyone else is. Once a friend is married, I feel like they might not have time for long, elaborate emails or phone conversations like they did before. I know this might not be true about everyone, that it might just be my assumption, but whenever I want to call a married friend, I hesitate a bit, thinking, "What if she's busy? What if she's with the family?" I know I shouldn't let my presumptions dictate the degree of contact I keep with my friends, but that's the sad truth. I also hesitate to talk about some topics which had flowed freely and unrestrained before, but suddenly seem inappropriate or out-of-bounds.
I know the person is still the same, that it is only a change of status and situation, not of character. I think this is something I need to work on. I do realize that if the same were to be reversed, if I were getting married and then my friends' calls diminished, I'd feel left out. I definitely need to work on this! And no, there's no danger of myself getting hitched anytime soon!
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I wish friend A a wonderful wedding day and a lifetime of falling and growing in love. I wish her happiness in her marriage, peppered with lots of laughter and understanding.
I wish friend F a memorable day and a happy marriage. I wish her lots of fun times with her husband-to-be, truckloads of humour to tackle the differences that inevitably will be, and a love-filled environment.
Beautiful pictures you chose :)
ReplyDeleteAgreed that marriage changes the conversations :( My conversations with cousins have become so censored after their marriage :P
I like adding visually pleasing photos whenever I can :)
DeleteYeah, there seems to be some sort of internal, invisible barrier,doesn't there?
This is so beautiful and honest.
ReplyDeleteAs a "the one married friend" in a group of 5, I feel just opposite of this. I wish my friends would call, or ask to come visit, or email/skype me more.
They assume I'm busy, but the truth is that even when I am - I'd make time for them. Because they are important to me.
... And necessary for me to not murder my husband from time-to-time.
Thank you for your input as someone from the other side, Britt! I can imagine my friends would like me to contact them more often, but sometimes, I just keep holding myself back from doing it. I'm glad you've told it as it is.
DeleteOh, and do let that poor husband live ;)