Friday, 3 May 2013

To Add or Not To Add

You’re at a mall, window shopping, when someone calls out your name.


“Hi! Vivienne! Long time! How have you been?” You study her for a few seconds, and then the realization hits – that’s your old schoolmate! More specifically, your friend's sister's friend. When was that…in middle school? And it’s been almost a decade since. After the initial how are you’s and what are you doing now’s, you stand around awkwardly smiling at each other.

You: “Err…have you been keeping in touch with anyone from school?”

Friend: “Of course! I talk to most of my school friends regularly.”

You: “Oh, wow. Through Facebook?”

Friend: “Not just, but that too. I sent you a friend request quite long ago, if I remember right.”

You: “Oh, mmm…yeah, you did…so that was you. I, er… wasn’t sure if that was really you…so…”

Friend: “You didn’t accept it??”

You: “Eeep…I’ll add you today!”

Then there are the awkward bye’s and I’ll keep in touch’s. And then you’re left feeling like an idiot. The idiot who doesn’t want to be “friends” with her fleeting acquaintances. Who acknowledged she actually rejected (gasp!) the friend request. Who therefore comes across as stuck-up. And, of course, who now will have to swallow her pride (and moreover, the humiliation) and “befriend” the other.

Am I the only one who doesn’t add every single person who I’ve crossed paths with on my personal Facebook page?

And running into someone who you’ve rejected, or even deleted, on Facebook? 


Today's prompt: Things that make you uncomfortable


  1. You're totally not the only one! I actually went through my Facebook and asked 1. Do I really want to know this person's life updates? 2. Do I really want this person to know my life updates? 3. Am I just friends with them so I can "hate read" and judge? Annnnd I cleaned that list out. One of my really great middle school friends sent a friend request and I was just... ugh... I don't dislike her, I just don't CARE anymore. I don't need a new person to keep up with - we haven't seen each other in like 12 years at least.

    Reading this, maybe I'm a terrible person :-/

    1. I do this too. I suppose to the people I don't add, I'll seem like a b*tch, but I just don't want to know everything about them and have them know everything about me. I like keeping Facebook more intimate. I've done the friend list purging too. A month after that, I ran into one of the people I'd deleted...and he knew!

    2. I mean... I just rationalize that someone who gets upset about FACEBOOK is probs too much drama anyway. It's facebook. I didn't try to murder your cat or something.

  2. I'm totally all over the place on this. If someone friends me I usually accept just because I don't really care. Then there are the people who I'm not actually friends with and I hate their updates, but I can't unfriend them because I basically love to hate their updates!!! It's ridiculous. This is probably why my baby is neglected... Jjjust kidding. ;)

    1. My news feed got too crowded with way too many updates, then I couldn't get through to the updates of the people I do care about. That's when I decided to do the big friend list purge!