The Rope Analogy

There was this girl I was friends with in school. In fact, she was my best friend for a couple of years till we reached the age of 14. Then something happened, and suddenly we were at the opposite end of the friendship spectrum. It was over, and I moved on.

A few years later, I formed a small study group with a couple of friends. One of them brought my former friend along too one day, and despite our differences, I couldn't back out as that would have ruined everything for the whole group. As time went by, we got more civil, and eventually started regarding each other as "friends" again. We studied together, we laughed, we hung out. And yet, something always kept prickling my subconscious. I didn't feel very comfortable in her presence. My guard was always up. The friendship felt superficial...and forced.

This disturbed me, and also affected my results from the combined study we were doing in the group. I confided my misgivings to my mum. That's when mum told me,


"You can tie a severed rope back together, but the knot will always be present."

via

Needless to say, my relationship with that friend soon soured. Again.

I find that what mum said is true. An ex is an ex for a reason, be it friend, partner, or anything else. You can glue the pieces back together, be civil for the sake of civility, but it won't be the same relationship again. Forgiveness is all fine, but expecting a once-broken relationship to go back to what it was is not feasible.

Jenni is hosting a blogging challenge this month. I expect I'll sporadically be joining in on the fun.

Today's Prompt:  Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.